CTOB Presents: The New "Are You Racist?" Matrix

The Donald Sterling fiasco seems to have been a tough one for journalists to write about. There is one big, sexy, splashy head line involving a rich old man being racist, and then a lot of uncomfortable details. Sometimes, in order to sell a story (or more accurately, sell the side of the story they want to tell) news outlets have to gloss over bits of information that don't support their message. But sometimes that can confuse the broader social issue.

So with that in mind, let's unpack this story a bit and see if we can use hard data and an impartial, analytical method to determine a new "Are Your Racist?" matrix. I will use myself as a test subject and invite readers to participate as well. 

The CTOB "Are You Racist?" Matrix

So by this data, it would appear that I am more racist than Donald Sterling, which is weird becauseI didn't think I was racist before. In fact I have several black friends, and I would invite all of them into my crib. I would not, however, allow them to have sex with my girlfriend and that seems to be a real swing factor here.

Also, I want to be clear that there is a huge difference between going to a basketball game with a black guy and going to basketball games with black guys. Like if she was going to a basketball game with a bunch of her girlfriends and their gay black friend was going along? Great, have fun. Tell Peanut I hope he gets some ass. But if she's just sitting court side with a different brother once a week? Nope. No fucking chance. Don't get me wrong, that goes for white guys too, and Asians and definitely Latin dudes. But they weren't a part of this conversation, and I'm not prone to race baiting.

And Black guys can try out this matrix too. Is your girlfriend allowed to go to basketball games with black guys? Not your cousin or your friend who you call "cousin", but just a random assortment of friendly black guys who want to take your girl to a basketball game. I doubt it. Maybe you're racist too. Maybe everyone is racist. 

But Donald Sterling DEFINITELY is, and I have hard data that proves it.